Sometimes we are so distracted with work, thinking about other people and the live around us that we actually forget to take a moment and sit down and work on our life plan.
what do we want? do we know how to get it? is the path we are on the right one or just the convenient one? did we set a goal for the next five years or just going with the flow?
when i was growing up i always imagined finding my prince charming and get married after travelling the world with him, have kids in my 20ies and live a great life. i never thought about what i would do for a living though and these days it seems that this i all i am doing, working instead of chasing my dreams..
i spend so much time at the office and if i am not at the office i am at home online for work. dont get me wrong i like my job but theres just so much more to life than just work. yes i need to pay my bills but i could also easily stop working an hour or two earlier and dedicate myself to a new hobby, learn a new language, go out with friends or finally check out the art museum that ive wanted to check out for a year..
time flies like crazy and we sometimes dont realize it until our friends start getting married, have kids and make a family of their own. it happened a lot with my friends. i believe at this point i have two girlfriends that are single, the rest is either married, has kids or in a serious relationship, and i am very happy for them. it just sometimes makes my self lose a bit of confidence and lonely.
i believe, that for a long time i was blinded by the relationship my parents had. ive always wanted to have what they had but i believe they were just one of these couples that would always love each other and try new things. sometimes id come home and find them dancing in the livingroom after they took a dancing class and i imagined how nice it would be if i came home to my future husband and he would put on music and we’d just dance in the living room, spend a calm night at home and cook together. its the little things in life that need attention as well. also i am afraid i couldnt offer my children what our parents offered to us. all those activities, the different sports we got to do, getting to know different cultures by travelling a lot, as mentioned in the previous post we never lacked anything.
i have been in a lot of relationships and a few of them were also serious. but at the end it was break it rather than make it. there is one loss that though, which is still hurting me today and that i wish i could have work on and changed because trust me it sucks getting over someone you havent completely let go yet. it was the first person i felt i had a true bond with in my life. the first time that i acutally thought- this could be the one, the one i will be dancing in the living room with after having a hard day in the office, and the one that will make a rough day much better by just being with him.
it started out so funny, we had many laughter and god was he sexy (and still is) but unfortunately both of our ego’s got in the way and we both ended up staying stubborn and not willing to make adjustments for the other person or the relationship. our ego can mess up a lot sometimes. it blinds of from seeing the mistakes we make, how we can solve them and stops us from developing ourself, as we always think we are right. i really wish we couldve turned things around and become a team coz i felt we could have really worked out and have it all.
so, two more days until the new year and here i am sitting, reflecting and thinking what do i want for myself?
besides being healthy, having my family and friends around me i also want love and i needed to set my self a 5 year plan.
i need to get on a path in this direction. investing time in ourselves can boost our confidence and become also a hobby – and isnt investing time in ourself much better than in an office that we dont even own and will have no outcome in our lifes?also i’ve always wanted to learn a new language and actually signed up twice for a course but never saw it thru, now that i am growing from the girl to a lady, i might actually stick it thru. having goals in live and a plan can give you a great amount of motivation.
i want to keep working on myself, become a sexy lady and be the best version of myself, work on my future goal and always stay ambitious. being ambitious make your self esteem grow and a confident women is a sexy women 🙂 so for 2024 we will try to be more mature than we were in the past few years.
2024 i am so ready for you