when it comes to love or loving someone i tend to do this with all my heart and sometimes more, sometimes less brain
i am vulnerable, emotional, caring, loving, but with those emotions also comes anger, frustration and sometimes sadness.
when i am with someone i go all in, i dont like half things, unsettled business, not knowing where the road leads me to or where i stand with that person. i like adventures but i do not wish to waste precious time. so when i make a decision to be with someone i want it with all that comes with it.
but when is it enough? when do i get tired of a person or when do i stop loving someone or know its time to move on?
shouldnt those thoughts be far away when with someone? or is it just me being cautios and protecting my heart? is that more brain than heart and can i change that?
can people change in general?
i like to think they can.. if and thats a big if.. they want to.
i think it takes two people to make a relationship work. they both have to be takers as well as givers. everyone should have their place in the relationship and devided chores, but both should always know they have each others back, thats what makes partnerships strong! i think we are stronger when we know we have someone else behind us that will stick up for us. someone we can trust, confide in and someone we can go to after a hard day at work and lean on to.
i think this is also the case in friendships. a friendship is only strong if friends are on the same page, have our back, encourage us to become the best version of ourself and are there for us, as we are there for them.
so what am i getting at.
i was asked once to change my lifestyle for someone, or lets say adjust some patterns of it.
first i thought they are kidding me! i am amazing how i am and i am a good person why would they want me to change? do i want them to change as well? this was so bizarre to me and i felt like a little rebel going against those adjustements that were asked from me.
looking back i think we can always become a better version of ourself or improve in different areas.
however its easier to notice this ourself and work on our imrovments, rather than having somebody else pointing out the things we arent as good at yet as we want to be.
for me personally it created a bit of an inbalance. i dont want to change for someone else i want the other person to take me as i am. but didnt they do that? didnt they still accept me when they had their wishes on things that could be improved? why did i feel offended then and got angry sometimes? wouldnt it be mature enough to talk normal about it instead of being a girl that takes it as an attack on my personality? why did i care so much?
because when i go all in i make a commitment to myself to make it work. and if i say it takes two people to make a relatiosship work, doesnt it involve the acutal work as well?
i guess my path from being a girl to becoming a lady is still ongoing and theres a lot to learn. my reactions to other people, my behaviour when asked to change something and me wanting to improve myself…
let me tell you, that those changes that were requested, werent weird changes, they were actually very good inputs but i felt so offended and a bit hurt.
i want to reach the goals that i have set for myself, and if the other person will stand behind me and cheer me on while i hustle to reach those goals and become a better version of myself even better. i guess i am a person that likes to get comfirmation and aknowledgment if i do something well, it gives me more power to push further…
so maybe having love for someone in a relationship isnt enough.
making a relationship work comes with much more than just having feelings and emotions. we need to be rational at times as well and therefore our heart sometimes needs help from our brain..
that way maybe we can become the dream person of somebody else and if we are lucky they can work on our dreams we have to become the prince charming we always imagined wed meet one day 🙂