have any of you ever wondered why we feel hurt after a relationship breaks apart?
is it because we will miss this person? are we scared to be alone? do we feel like we cannot love again or be loved? has our trust been broken? will we ever meet someone else? are we scared the other person will meet and go out with someone else? do we feel like we could have saved the relationship? or is it all of the above and so much more than just our heart crying?
i have gone thru quit a few heartbreaks (my longest relationship ending after 7 years)
one thing about growin up that i like, is that we do become wiser.
i remember my first heartbreak as a teenager. i cried so much, was so sad and didnt see how life and myself could possibly move on.
growing wiser we learn that life actually has to go on and so do we. we have to get our s… together and face it. after all, we did have a life before this person came into ours, and we will still have this life after the person isnt in it anymore. as those things are easier said than done, i decided to analyse my sadness after my last break up which has been 3 months ago after being together for 3.5 years.
i came to the following conclusion:
i was never good at being alone but i find it sometimes a relieve not having to clean after someones mess and just being able to do nothing at home and just relax. however one of my first thoughts was those sunday nights alone, eating dinner alone, cold dark winter outside where it usually gets very lonely, christmas time with families running around outside. brrrr i dont even like to think about that one yet..
i am a hopeless romantic and i know i can love again and will love again. i also believe that if s person is meant to be for me then it will happen again and if not it was a good experience, even if it hurt at the moment.
one of my favorite questions that would bring me down after a break up was to think: what if i will never meet someone again? someone i could laugh with, have a bond with,my ride or die, go out together etc.etc. but lets be honest, everyone who has found someone new after a break up, knows, theres lots of fishes in the pond.we can always meet someone new, we just need to be open for it and let them in, after our healing of course 🙂 otherwise there will be a rebound, which will also be another post on my page soon. yep, been there and done that.
so what in regards of the other person? i gotta say i found myself wondering and thinking if that other person will already go out, hook up, go on tinder, go on dates and all the nonsense that i actually do not even want to know. lets face it though, we had that thought about the ex being with someone else. why is that, i wondered… Honestly i think i have to thank my ego for it. because, lets be honest, if i found or meet someone else before them i could care less what they do after. but if i am still in my crying and healing phase the last thing i need is an image in my head of him with someone else, iachk,
i have learned that we can drive our thoughts to or away from certain things. we just need the willpower and focus on whats best for us.
so here I am, once again having to start over and I still havent gotten to put on that wedding dress and chose names for children..
the mean thing is, that for us girls/woman, the time is ticking and there are some wise choices that need to be made before its to late. and those choices, can change your life forever.. more about those choices we need to make- coming soon.